摘要:“How To Be More Than Just Friends”“如何从友情跨入恋情”For women, friendships and romantic relationships are two separate things. ...
“How To Be More Than Just Friends”
“如何从友情跨入恋情”
For women, friendships and romantic relationships are two separate things. They are NOT the same.
对女人而言,友情和恋情迥然不同。两者不可相提并论。
Remember that.
请切记。
While most men would sleep with most of their female “friends” if the woman “came on” to them, most women would NOT sleep with most men that they consider “just friends.”
如果女人主动地对男人投怀送抱,那么,大多数男性都会与这些“女性朋友”颠鸾倒凤;但大多数女人绝不会与其认为只是存在单纯朋友关系的男人倒凤颠鸾。
But why is this?
究其原因何在?
The thing that tells a woman whether the guy she"s with is “friend” material or “lover” material is how she FEELS.
告知女人这个男人到底只是“朋友”关系还是“情人”关系的往往来自她的感觉。
It"s a combination of EMOTIONAL feelings and PHYSICAL feelings.
这是一种集情绪感觉和生理感觉的综合感知。
It is NOT logic.
且即便这很不合逻辑。
She might USE logic to “rationalize” her decision… or she might USE logic to SOUND like she has a good reason for either “being with” or “not being with” a particular guy.
她可能会使用逻辑,从而让自己的决定“合理化”......或者她可能会用逻辑,让她与特定的某个男人“在”或“不在”一起有个貌似正当的理由。
But don"t let that distract you.
但是,千万别为这些分心。
Logic isn"t important AT ALL in this context.
在这种情境下,逻辑根本不再重要。
If she feels that “Ewwww Yuck!” feeling, then her “logical” conclusion will probably not be that she wants to date the guy in question.
如果她有“呃,真烦”这样的感觉,那么,所谓的“逻辑”就会得出:这个男人不是她想要约会的理想对象。
If she feels that “It"s Gettin" Hot In Here” feeling, then her “logical” conclusion will probably be that this guy is interesting and attractive, and a good “choice” to date.
若她感觉到“好热”,那么,所谓 “逻辑” 就会得出:这个男人趣味无限和魅力无穷这样的结论,那么,随后一个好的约会便水到渠成。
Women are EXPERTS at recognizing men who DON"T GET IT. And if you DON"T get it, PLUS you"re trying to compensate for the fact that you don"t get it with gifts and compliments, then you"re REALLY screwed
女人是辨认一个男人是否没戏的专家。如果你没戏,再加上你因为没戏而试图做出挽回感情而送礼物,并说一些赞美的言辞,那么,这时候,你就真的完蛋了。
So how do you trigger the “it"s gettin" hot in here” feeling?
那么,如何激发出女人“火热”的感觉呢?
Most men try to use gifts and compliments and being thoughtful to LET A WOMAN KNOW HE"S INTERESTED…
大多数男人会尝试送礼,辅以溢美之词以及关心备至来讨好女人。
…HOPING that when the woman sees these displays she"ll be interested in him.
男人希望女人看到他们的这些“示好”后,会对他们感兴趣。
But almost NONE of the things men do to court women make women FEEL ANYTHING even remotely similar to “Attraction” and “Arousal”
在男人所做的这些示爱事件中,几乎没有一件会让女人感觉到哪怕是一点点类似于“有吸引力”和“唤醒”的感觉。
Of course, you know this.
当然了,你自己也对此深信不疑。
You"ve probably done this stuff about a bazillion times. I have, too. I know what it"s like to try OVER AND OVER to let a particular woman know that I"m interested… only to have her NOT RESPOND in a “romantic” way.
你可能已经无数次地做过这些事情了,我也是。我知道,我们一遍遍地重复这些,只是为了讨得那个女人的欢心......但得到的往往不是她想与你“谱写罗曼史”的回应。
The PROBLEM with this kind of thing is that it communicates clearly that YOU DON"T GET IT. It tips a woman off INSTANTLY that you"re not hip to what"s going… and it kills your chances with her.
造成这一问题的原因显而易见,那就是这个女人觉得你没戏。女人的这一直觉让她扭头就走,以至于你都不知道你做错了什么……你与这个女人交流的机会也就随之破灭。
Say what?
要说什么呢?
You mean that doing nice things for women, and trying to show how you feel can actually HURT your chances with a woman?
你会说我为这个女人做了那么多,然后,告诉她我的感觉,但事实上,如此一来,居然会断送与其交流的机会?
Yea, it can.
是啊,的确如此。
Look, if you"ve been dating a woman exclusively for six months, and her birthday comes… it"s OK to buy her a gift and tell her that you like spending time with her.
瞧!如果你用心良苦地与一个女人约会6个月,在临近她生日的时候,送她一份礼物,然后,告诉她,你很乐意与她一起共度美好时光,这么做,似乎都合情合理。
You"re Already In A Relationship.
因为你已先入为主地置身于这种恋爱关系中,且沉迷其中,难以自拔!
But if you"ve known a woman for six DAYS and you try this kind of thing, you"re going to shoot yourself in the foot.
但是,如果你只和一个女人认识了6天,你就尝试做上面的事情,这无异于你搬起石头砸自己的脚。
Remember what I"m about to tell you.
请把我即将要跟你讲的话牢牢记在心上。
Write it on a sticky-note and put it on your computer monitor…
将其写在便签上,然后,贴在电脑显示器上…
SINGLE, ATTRACTIVE WOMEN WATCH MEN TRY TO WIN THEM OVER ALL DAY LONG. THEY KNOW WHEN A GUY DOESN"T “GET IT”… AND THEY"RE ANNOYED WHEN A GUY WHO DOESN"T “GET IT” JUST KEEPS TRYING AND TRYING AND TRYING.
单身漂亮的女人看着男人一整天都在为取悦她芳心而鞍前马后。但她们心里明白这个男人没戏......但没戏的男人还是在不停地尝试、尝试,再尝试,这让女人大为火光。
Keep in mind that single, attractive women watch guys do this stuff 24/7. They shake their pretty heads and say “He doesn"t get it… He doesn"t get it… He doesn"t get it” over and over and over.
请牢记,这些单身漂亮的女人时时刻刻都在观察着男人的一举一动,并且她们晃动着漂亮的脑袋一遍又一遍地说:“他没戏......他没戏......他也没戏。”
The point is that if you DON"T GET IT, then nothing you do is going to work for you.
所以,问题就在于,如果你没戏,之后,无论你做什么,都将于事无补!
The problem is bigger than you can imagine, and you"re going to need to take a totally different road to get where you"re going…
这个问题比你能想象到的事情要大得多,所以,你需要步入一条与之前完全不同的路子......
Luckily, I"ve paved this road for you…
幸运地是,我已经为你铺好了路……